Honestly, I’m surprised that they don’t chastise Boys II Men for being… you know… “not white.” (My eyes are about to roll out of my head, seriously…)

I know that Blockheads are angry and disgusted about this: any rational-thinking human being knows that these people are crazy. As I said in a tweet earlier today, WBC is to Christianity what Jihadists are to Muslims. They are right-wing extremists who would be laughable, if it weren’t for the violence of their words and actions.

Here’s the thing, my Blockhead friends: we don’t want to stoop to their level. We want to prove that their twisted, distorted view of the world means NOTHING. This is a chance to show them the REAL #LoveEternal. I know there will be those who are tempted to argue with them, to yell at them, to call them names, the way that they will be calling our boys horrible names.

But don’t do it. Ignore them. Walk past with your head held high, with compassion in your heart for whatever horrible thing happened to them to make them that filled with hate.

I’m not saying, though, that we should let them away with it entirely. I came up with an idea this afternoon that I hope will spread among those who will be attending the concert (and now, I truly wish I could be there, not even to see the show, but just to be a part of this).

I would like to see every Blockhead who goes to that concert wear the brightest, rainbow-y colours that they can find. If you can find a shirt, dress, or other item of clothing with rainbows on it, wear it! Can’t find rainbow clothing? Get some temporary dye and turn your hair into a rainbow. Bring signs with rainbows, or with Tinky Winky from the Teletubbies (anyone else remember THAT idiotic controversy?!?) Show, in the most visible way possible, that Blockheads really KNOW what love means! Use all of that creative energy that I know you have, and let WBC – and the guys – know that in the end, LOVE WILL PREVAIL!

LET’S GET THIS!

PS – If you do go, and do what I’ve suggested, please send me pictures: I’d love to create a new blog post after the fact, showing everyone what #LoveEternal really means!

EDITED TO ADD: Someone suggested that even though she couldn’t go to the concert, she would wear her rainbows anyway. I think that’s a great idea! If you’re not going to be at the show, but want to show support anyway, wear your rainbows, send me the pictures to nkotbrainbow at gmail dot com and I’ll put them into a slide show!

It’s been a while, but Lara Carson’s back in Bath and lives are set to change as a result. Because Lara left her family and boyfriend Flynn eighteen years ago without a word to anyone. Why has no one heard from her since? Her childhood best friend Evie is thrilled Lara’s back and able to share her happiness. Evie’s about to walk down the aisle with her dream man, Joel. Or so she thinks… Then there’s Flynn Erskine, even more attractive now and stunned to see Lara again. The spark between them is as strong as ever, but how’s Flynn going to react when he discovers the secret she’s been keeping from him? Oh yes, there’s a lot of catching up to be done…

Can we just officially name Jill Mansell “Queen of Chick Lit” once and for all?

Seriously, I have never been disappointed by a single one of her books: they’re more intelligent than the majority of the genre; they have a lot of heart, and really make you pull for the characters; the plots are interesting… I know Helen Fielding is considered by most to be the creator of modern Chick Lit, but Jill Mansell has very nearly perfected it.

Lara was a great main character, and I felt for her, hearing about her life before leaving Bath, and what happened to her afterwards. She is spunky, intelligent, and just the right amount of stubborn. Her daughter, Gigi, is very much like her mother, and I liked the relationship between the two. Assorted friends and family members make up the rest of the cast of characters; it can be difficult at times to keep up with each individual story. There is a sub plot involving an American rapper and a stuffy British shirt company owner, and while it does relate to the main plot, it’s a rather tenuous connection, but at least it was still interesting. Small quibbles? Perhaps.

Generally, though, it was one of my favourite books of hers, and I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys the genre.

Seriously, you don’t want to go any further.

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Come on, why are you still here?!? I’m warning you!

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OK, good. Now the rest of us can be all gushy together! Get comfy, because I have a feeling this is going to be kinda long

To start off with, despite what certain people may think, I am pretty boring in the New Kid experience department. Trust me, I’m friends with people who have much more interesting stories than I do. I’ve been lucky enough to see all of the tours – save “Full Service” – since their reunion, but I saw each show once, in regular seats, never even on the floor. I have never done a 4*, a 5*, or an “Ultimate.” I did “meet” Jordan at Cover Me Canada, but that ended up consisting of me grabbing his arm as he started to walk out of the room, getting a picture, and not even a “hello.” (He was preoccupied in the meet and greet talking to some of *ahem* “those” fans, and I’m too Canadian to interrupt.)

So the way that this summer is transpiring is pretty darned exciting for me. When the tour was originally announced, trying to get tickets to the June 7 show in Toronto became a bit of a debacle, and we ended up completely ticketless, so my friend and I were relieved when the added the second Toronto show on July 28. We ended up getting floor seats, which compared to my “way up in the stands” tickets of the past, was awesome!

And I thought that would be the only show of the tour for me. Ha!

On a whim, when I saw Abbie tweet about a Remember Betty raffle for tickets to the Atlanta show, and a meet and greet with Danny, I entered. It may seem strange for a fan from Toronto to enter that particular raffle, out of all the ones that they’ve done, but my friend Jessica lives in Atlanta, and I miss her dreadfully, so I thought it would be a good excuse for another road trip if by some miraculous chance I won.

Again: HA!

One Saturday night in April, I posted this to my Facebook account: “I want another Atlanta road trip.”

The next night, I got an email from Abbie that I had won the Atlanta raffle! It was insane! For once, the Universe was on my side! So now I was going to TWO shows on the same tour!

As everyone in Toronto started getting ready for the show yesterday, I was a bit dejected. I knew I had my two shows to look forward to, but it always feels strange when they’re in town, and I’m not there. Then around 11:30, I received a text message from an associate that she had two FREE tickets to the show, asking if I wanted to go – well DUH!

Oh, and before I begin, my apologies for the quality of the pictures and videos. I only had my cell phone with me. I’m going to make sure that I have something better for the other shows

I have to say: the show is well put together. It started right on time, and when Boys II Men ended, 98 Degrees started within a minute or less. It was a very smooth transition. Boys II Men are still excellent singers, and I enjoyed their set. I like their ballads, but I’m always going to have a soft spot for “Motownphilly.”

Maybe Degree antiperspirant could work out some kind of a deal with Jeff Timmons?!?

98 Degrees, well, I can’t say I was ever a fan. I remember when I was in university, and working in the portrait studio in Wal-Mart, and they came in to do a performance or autograph session, or something. I kept hearing all these little girls who were obviously very excited, and I had no idea who they were. Obviously I did figure it out later, and I was surprised that I did know most of the songs they performed last night. They have good, if somewhat bland, voices, but two thoughts: a) they could use a new choreographer; and b) Jeff Timmons could’ve used some dress shields or something. That’s all I’m saying…

But really, 99% of the arena was there for one reason. Those guys really never disappoint. Considering that I’d heard earlier in the week that Donnie was losing his voice, that one day off must’ve made a huge difference, because I never would’ve known it last night! I have to say, in all honesty, that I’m always pleasantly surprised by just how well these guys know how to put on a show. I mean, yes, they have a built-in, loyal audience, but they don’t take that for granted. They could probably come out and sing some nursery rhymes and still get screams, but they don’t. Every tour they come up with some new twist on things, while still keeping the nostalgia factor for familiarity. And all things considered, I really didn’t hear much in the way of bad notes last night, either, and I’m pretty sensitive to that.

Some of my highlights? Those pillars, which rose from the pods off the main stage. I knew it was coming, but it still freaked me out to see my boys rise up fifteen feet in the air!

The Whisper – those pillars gave me palpitations!

At one point, Donnie lay down on one of the pods, right in front of where we were sitting, and gave quite a kiss to a woman standing beside it. She looked as if she was about to faint!

The acoustic set they did about 2/3 of the way through was fantastic, from my all-time favourite of theirs, “If You Go Away”, to Joe singing George Michael’s “Faith”, and then Jordan… my God… singing Prince’s song, “Kiss.”  (Make sure you watch to see Donnie and Danny doing nasty things to Jon off to the side of the frame!)

During “Tonight”, as usual they went out into the audience. What killed me was that when they came back, and Jordan started to sing, “I’ll Be Loving You (Forever)” he had this big lip print on the side of his neck! He seemed to have no idea. I wonder how long people let him go like that after the fact LOL!

And of course, Hangin’ Tough. It was never one of my favourite songs of theirs, “back in the day”, but I love the way that they perform it now. They are dedicating it to Boston, and it seems to mean even more to them now, given recent events.

Hangin’ Tough

I am totally excited for the rest of this summer! Stay tuned for updates from my other two shows. Last night was a pretty good warm-up, I have to say

A few weeks later, I finally found out that I was pregnant.

Since then, my life has totally changed. Since my oldest daughter was born in February of 2001, I have been “Mommy”, or more recently, “Mom.” Four and a half years later, my other daughter arrived, after another round of fertility treatments. Then, in the best surprise of our lives, only thirteen months later, our first son arrived. Our family was completed in April of 2009, when our youngest son joined us.

I was an only child (with two – much younger – half brothers who lived thousands of miles away), and now after all of the earlier uncertainty, I am the mom of four children. I live in chaos. My house is never tidy. By the time I run the dishwasher, the sink is full of dishes again. I mop the floors, only to have muddy footprints come through, or a new batch of dog hair all over within hours (if I’m lucky.) The laundry is never ending. Getting to watch what I want on television is a rare occurrence. I spend my days driving to swimming lessons, to ballet, to karate.

I break up fights. I put kids back to bed for the tenth time. I look for lost assignments and library books. I watch the same episode of “Super Why” fourteen times.

I think I have probably changed about 10,000 diapers. At least.

I get handmade gifts for my birthday, for Christmas, and for Mother’s Day, and sometimes just because. And I love every single one of them. I am given bouquets of dandelions. I go and see presentations at school, and I cry a little bit every single time.

I get hugs and kisses on a regular basis. I read stories and sing silly songs at bedtime. I kiss boo-boos, and sometimes I say, “Suck it up.”

I hear about mean kids, and best friends. I hear about boyfriends and girlfriends – so far, only other people’s, but I know that day is coming. I hear about the gardening club, the choir, the school trips, and math tests.

Sometimes I have to give up things that I want to do because it conflicts with things that they want to do. Sometimes I’m so exhausted at the end of the day that I wonder how I can ever get up the next day and do it all again. Sometimes I want to hide in a closet, or run far, far away. Sometimes I yell more than I should. Sometimes I give in, even when I know that I shouldn’t, just because I can’t argue anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t drink more.

But in all the chaos, there is nothing better than seeing my kids play together, laugh together, and love each other.

My heart is full. I don’t need a day to tell me how blessed I am. I live it every day.

Bill Cosby “I’m 83 and Tired”

I’ve worked hard since I was 17. Except for when I was doing my National Service, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn’t call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, it looks as though retirement was a bad idea, and I’m tired. Very tired.

I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth” to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

I’m tired of being told that Islam is a “Religion of Peace,” when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family “honor”; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren’t “believers”; Muslims burning schools for girls; Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for “adultery”; Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur’an and Shari’a law tells them to.

…

Yes, I’m damn tired. But I’m also glad to be 83.  Because, mostly, I’m not going to have to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter and their children. Thank God I’m on the way out and not on the way in.

There is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! This is your chance to make a difference.
“I’m 83 and I’m tired. If you don’t agree you are part of the problem!

On September 9, 2011, Bill Cosby put out a statement in regards to the post, saying, “There’s an email floating around – entitled “I’m 76 and tired” – purportedly sent by me. I did not write the email, I did not send the email, I’m not 76, and I don’t subscribe to the ugly views expressed in the email. We are coming up to an important anniversary on Sunday, which is a day when we should all come together. Whoever wrote this email is not thinking about our country, or what is important. If you get the email, it’s time to hit DELETE.”

When I pointed out to my young friend that Bill Cosby did NOT, in fact, write the post, she declared that she didn’t care who wrote it (in fact, a former state senator from Massachusetts, Robert A. Hall, was the author) because it made sense.

I didn’t know whether to be angry, or sad, that she felt that way. Instead, I decided to write a response to the letter. Perhaps someone will find some “sense” in it.

Cynthia Hill I’m 37 and I’m Tired

I work hard 24/7 raising four children. I don’t get sick days, so even if I wanted one, I’d be out of luck. I don’t get a salary. I write books, and sometimes people buy them. I’m nowhere near retirement, and thank God for that, because if we were to retire anytime soon my husband and I would be screwed. I’m tired. Very tired.

I’m tired of hearing people say that they earned their money without help from anyone, ever, and that they should be able to do anything they want with it. If you went to school, drove on a public road, used a flush toilet, called the police or the fire department, or ever received a “baby bonus” cheque, you did NOT do everything yourself, so get off your high horse. There are a lot more people who would like to be earning a REAL living, but are being stalled by the current economic climate of “the rich get richer” than there are people who are “too lazy” to get off the couch.

I’m tired of people using a few isolated incidents to condemn an entire race. If we don’t judge all Christians by the Westboro Baptist Church, why the hell should we judge all Muslims by the acts of THEIR extremists who have twisted the meaning of their religion? The media shows the extremes. They don’t show you law-abiding citizens who only want to live in peace. That doesn’t sell newspapers and magazines, and doesn’t get eyeballs on newscasts. After all, “if it bleeds, it leads.”

I’m tired of the fact that those who preach that all Muslims are violent can’t see that the irony that their actions are no better than the Nazis in Germany, condemning an entire group of people over propaganda and lies. How long until we start building work camps, all in the name of “public safety?”

I’m tired of hearing that showing some respect for the planet that gave you life is “lowering your standard of living.”

I’m tired of hearing what a scourge on society drug addicts are. How about, instead of complaining, looking at the reasons behind drug addiction, and trying to do something about it. No, a giant germ didn’t rush out in a dark alley, and stick a needle in their arm, or shove white powder up their noses, but they may have an untreated mental illness for which they are unknowingly self-medicating, they may have had something terrible happen to them as a child, and without access to proper counselling, they are simply trying to find a way to get the memories out of their heads. Perhaps drug addiction is the only life they know, having seen their own parents struggle with it. I don’t know, but the point is, neither do you.

I’m tired of the fact that we all seem to think we have a right to judge others’ mistakes, as if we had never made any ourselves. I’m tired of the fact that every time an athlete, musician, or actor – especially young ones – make a mistake, it’s broadcast as entertainment for the masses. How many of us would have wanted our youthful indiscretions broadcast around the world so that everyone could make them into a joke, or talk about how disgusting we are? Money can buy a lot, but it can’t buy self-respect. I’m really tired of people throwing around the word “entitlement.”  It is simply a way to scorn those who dare to want more out of life. Not everyone expects something for nothing, but it’s not wrong to expect that roadblocks won’t be put in your way purely out of spite and greed.

I’m also tired and fed up with seeing people discriminated against because of how they look. Tattoos and face studs do not make a person “unemployable”: intolerance does. That person could be brilliant at their chosen profession, and you’ve just lost out on a potentially fantastic employee, just because you can’t see past the surface.

Yes, I’m damned tired. But I’m also glad to be 37, because I sure wouldn’t want to be fresh out of university these days, where you need 2-3 years experience for an “entry level” job, are only offered unpaid “internships,” and have hundreds of dollars of student loans to pay every month.

Here is your real chance to make a difference: trade the hate and anger in your heart for some love and kindness. Maybe you’ll see a brighter future after all.

The Kindle is still the biggest player in the e-reader market by far.

Then one night I was out with some friends, and my friend Kim pulled out her new Kindle and explained how it worked. I immediately noticed something: it didn’t look like a computer screen! She showed me how to increase or decrease the font; how to change from one book to another; how easy it was to download something new to read. I was shocked to realize that I was jealous. I WANTED ONE!!!

But, this was several years ago, and Kindles were still hard to come by in Canada, and quite expensive. It wasn’t likely going to happen. Then I found out that Chapters/Indigo had come out with their own e-reader: the Kobo, and it was considerably more economical, and easier to locate here. I was absolutely thrilled when my loving in-laws gave me one for Christmas.

I’m going to say it right now: just because I got an e-reader did NOT mean that I stopped reading “real” books. I loved reading both ways. The one thing I found an e-reader extremely convenient for, though, was my commute. When I was taking the train back and forth to work every day, with a lot of time for reading, it was SO nice to be able to just put my e-reader into my bag and go. I took to reading some fairly heavy hardcover library books for a while, and it’s amazing how much they weighed, carrying them around all of the time. In contrast, my Kobo fit into my purse.

I really liked the quilted back on my Kobo. Made it easy to hang on to, even without a cover.

But What Kind of E-Reader Should I Get?

There are a lot of options out there now. Kindles are still the most popular overall, but Kobo is still the top-seller in Canada. The major difference between the two is the file format that they use. Kindle uses its proprietary file: the .mobi, while Kobo (as well as Sony, and most “no-name” e-readers) use .epub.

What the heck does THAT mean?

OK, in English, .epub files are much more universal, and so you can buy a book from Kobo’s online store, and still read it on a Nook (Barnes & Noble’s e-reader) or a Sony, or one of the off-brand e-readers. Kindle files (.mobi) can only be read on Kindles. Basically, Amazon is trying to make sure that once you buy their e-reader, you’ll only be buying books from them. Actually, you CAN convert .epub files to read on a Kindle and vice-versa, through programs like Calibre, but it’s kind of a pain.

The other good thing about .epub files is that most libraries now will allow you to “borrow” e-books, but – in Canada at least – they only have .epub files. So Kindle owners are out of luck in that regard.

That being said, Kindle does have a very large library of free e-books, especially through its “Kindle Select” program which allows authors to have a certain number of promotional days where they can give away copies of their book. A lot of indie authors have taken advantage of the program, and so you can discover some great books of which you might not otherwise hear. Amazon also has its “Prime” member program which allows members to borrow one book per month for free, and this can include a lot – if not all – of the bestsellers.

My one true “con” with the Kobo was that my beloved e-reader died a horrible, blurred screen death after only about 18 months. The warranty on a Kobo is for 12 months, so I was officially out of luck. After the fact, a few people told me (and this is strictly anecdotal evidence, so please don’t take it as fact) that this is a fairly common occurrence with Kobos. If this is true, it makes me very sad, because overall I was thrilled with how user-friendly my Kobo was, and I still do want another one.

In terms of the more “tablet-y” e-readers, such as the Kindle Fire or Kobo Arc, I have little experience with them. In my opinion, the reason I liked just a straight e-reader is that for someone as easily distracted as I am, it was better to have as few bells and whistles as possible, so that I had less temptation to do anything other than reading.

Still have questions about whether you’d prefer a Kobo or Kindle? Leave them in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them.

But earlier this month, a copy was finally available for me. I had already downloaded the free sample from Amazon, just to see what was coming, and I was intrigued, if not excited. The basic premise is that Barry Fairbrother, a parish councillor in the small village of Pagford, UK, dies suddenly, leaving an empty spot on the council. As the campaign begins to unfold, carefully hidden secrets begin to emerge. That’s it in a sentence, anyway.

When I first posted on Goodreads that I was starting to read it, a friend commented that it was incredibly slow, and the ending was “horrible.” Not exactly effusive praise. But the truth is, Rowling has done almost exactly what she did with Harry Potter: she created a world. Except that the world of The Casual Vacancy is on a much smaller scale: the world of Pagford, like so many small towns and villages, is wrapped up in its own minutiae.

Without magical battles, dragons, two-headed dogs, boys who lived, or Hes Who Must Not Be Named, I can see how this would come across as “slow.” The urgency of the Harry Potter books is certainly not there in The Casual Vacancy. That being said, the pacing matched the story. Writing at a fast clip would have done a real disservice to the mood and setting that Rowling was trying to create.

One thing that I haven’t seen mentioned before in other discussions of the book is the main issue of the town’s election: that of “The Fields” – a housing “estate” which would be known as public housing in North America – and whether or not Pagford’s boundaries will be redrawn so that they will no longer be a part of the village. And this is one of the most heartbreaking parts of the story, and the real heart of things. Everyone in the village has their issues, but when Rowling writes about the lives of those in The Fields, and those who grew up there but then moved on, you can tell that this is an issue close to her heart, and that she speaks from experience. It’s easy to forget that she was not always a billionaire, and in fact lived in a housing estate that could very well have been close to her description of The Fields.

So yes, the book is slow-paced, and truthfully, it took me quite a while to get into it, but I’m glad that I didn’t give up. If you’re looking for another Harry Potter, you will likely be disappointed. If you like Elizabeth George books, this is quite similar, without all those messy murders. If you’re just looking for a book to make you think, this might be the one to pick up.

It’s gotten so that my Facebook friends are literally tagging me in almost every Grumpy Cat meme that they find, which is kind of awesome.

A while back, I saw a “50 Best Grumpy Cat Memes” on a blog. I was duly excited, except that I was certain that I had seen many that were much better. And so, I present my very own “Best of Grumpy Cat” list.

Enjoy – or, as Grumpy Cat would want it: don’t.

My brain keeps flickering like that, too, only in reverse. I get moments of clarity just long enough to start doing something productive, and then the power goes back out again. I was so proud of myself yesterday, because I wrote about 500 words. That’s just pathetic. Yet, it was 500 words more than I had written in WEEKS. I was convinced that this was the beginning of the end of my power outage, but then the power flickered again. Those of you waiting for a new book probably shouldn’t hold your breath. Or stand on your head. Or do any other kind of activity that you can’t sustain for a VERY LONG TIME while you wait. I’m beginning to have great sympathy for Harper Lee. Not that I’m comparing myself to Harper Lee. That would be… well, pretentious. Just in the fact that she only ever wrote ONE BOOK. I mean, how does someone write To Kill a Mockingbird and then never write another book after that?

And yes, I know, I’m writing right now. Don’t get all mouthy with me. This isn’t the kind of writing I mean, and you know it.

I’ve been reading The Bloggess’ book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. That woman is freaking hilarious, but I’m not sure it’s good for me. I think it’s just further muddling my already muddled brain. If I start collecting ethically taxidermied vintage animals wearing clothes, please, for the love of Donnie Wahlberg’s marshmallow, please lock me up.

I was composing most of this in my head while I was doing the dishes. I hate doing the dishes. Okay, I hate cleaning in general, but I REALLY hate dishes. My not-quite-four-year-old was impatiently waiting for his lunch as I did them. He came in and asked if he could have an avocado. Kid acts like I’m handing him little pellets of rat poison if I ask him to eat green beans, but he’ll happily eat two or three avocados at a time if I let him. I told him that he would have to wait until I was done the dishes. Instead, he climbed up and got an avocado off the counter. Perhaps at this point, I should have intervened, but truthfully, I was kind of curious to see where this was going to go.

“I got an avocado,” he told me proudly.

“I see that,” I answered.

“How do you open this?” he asked.

“With a knife,” I said, “but you probably shouldn’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because you might cut yourself.”

There was silence behind my back for a minute. Then, “I poked a hole in my avocado with this.” He held up his index finger.

“Okay.” I heard the cutlery drawer open.

“I’m going to open it with this,” he told me.

At this point, being a semi-responsible parent, I turned around. He was poking at the avocado with the end of a set of plastic stegosaurus chopsticks from the ROM. “It’s not working!” he told me.

I dried off my hands, took the avocado from him, and started peeling it – with a knife.

He’s too young for that kind of disappointment.

Did I mention that we also have 3 cats, a German Shepherd/something dog, and a hamster?

This morning, after the usual “Where’s my backpack?” and “I can’t find my hat!” and “It’s not THAT cold out!” my three oldest kids were off to school, so it was just my husband (who works a late shift these days) and my youngest son and me left in the house. Then hubby left for work.

Then my mother-in-law arrived and took my youngest to “library school” (AKA preschool story time). She also took the dog, since they always go out to her place and have lunch with Grandpa after they’re done, and they live in the country, and Max absolutely loves it there.

So now, here I am, sitting in my living room listening to the traffic outside, and the hum of the fridge, and possibly the radio static in my head. I can honestly hear my own typing, and it sounds LOUD.

I said to my husband this morning that I can’t remember the last time that I was in the house alone. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I need to send some emails. I should write. I should go and do the dishes and clean up the living room.

I could go back to bed.

This is really freaking me out.