Cynthia Hill

Ahhh… the supermodel: vessel of female perfection in all of her glory. Don’t we all just LOVE them?

And don’t we all just LOVE how they’re back on the catwalk mere weeks after giving birth?

And most especially, don’t we just LOVE how after one child, they’re suddenly an expert on EVERYTHING to do with parenting?

To Gisele Bundchen: Climbing Up the Slide would like to officially tell you to SHUT YOUR TRAP!

Now, this is not normally like me. For the most part, I want us all to parent the way that we feel is best, be free to do what works for our families, and to live and let live.

In this case, I feel that I am allowed to be a little less “Kum by ya” about the whole thing.

Gisele Bundchen, famous for parading around in teeny scraps of cloth, is now an expert on labour, childbirth and breastfeeding. She had a natural home-birth. Bully for her. If that’s your thing, by all means, you should do it! I have no issues here, except that she’s rather smug about it. Still…

It’s her opinion on breastfeeding that has me seeing red: “I think breastfeeding really helped [her to regain her stick figure]. Some people here think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think, ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?’

“There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”

WHA-HUH???

Gisele, sweetheart, HUSH! When did women become slaves? When did we lose the right to CHOOSE how to be a mother? What exactly would be the penalty for breaking such a law? Hard labour? (Oh, I crack myself up sometimes – get it? Hard LABOUR???)

Should women breastfeed if it’s possible? Yes, sure. We’ve ALL heard that it’s best, ad nauseum, but some women just plain aren’t able to, for physical or emotional reasons. I have seen many moms with PPD who stop out of frustration and depression that things aren’t going along swimmingly for them. Should they be thrown in jail? Have their children taken away? Forced to live in a depressed state, hating themselves and their babies because of depression?

Maybe I shouldn’t have been allowed to have kids, since I had a breast reduction and was only able to produce a fraction of the breast milk that my children needed to, you know, live and all.

Don’t get me wrong: I am glad that the pendulum is swinging back towards breast is best, but sometimes as a parent, second-best isn’t so bad, either. If there is any mom (or dad) out there who ALWAYS does the best thing for their child, I’d like to meet them and bow down at their self-righteous feet, because every parent that I know does the best thing as often as they can, but sometimes just has to settle for second- (or third-) best. We are people, too, and having a child doesn’t change our right to do what’s best for US, as well. We just have to figure out who “wins” at any given time when what’s best for them, and what’s best for us, is different.

So back to Gisele: I say, go back to standing around in your underwear. At least in print ads we don’t have to listen to you.